TEMPTED AND TRIED

The more I'm tired the better He can mold me, to change my life completely, to fit His perfect will. If I'm successful walking through dark valleys, He'll give me strength to climb the highest hill. Now I'll not question trials that bring me to my knees, that's just His way of telling me He loves me.

THIS HAPPEN BEFORE GOD SET ME FREE AT THE BIG TENT MEETING.
My only purpose in writing this is to encourage those that are going through the same things,to give them hope. My bondage lasted about twenty years. The children of Israel were in bondage for forty years.


AND MY DEAR FRIENDS WHEN GOD GETS READY TO MOVE. ALL HELL CAN'T STOP HIM. He may not come when we want Him too, but He's right on time. This may be funny, but I never could sing without singing through my nose and people would say let it out, well I didn't know how to let it out. I sang all my life through my nose. The other day after I got through praying. I felt an abundance of air in my lungs,
and I began to play and sing and you would not, believe the voice that came out of me. It was coming from way down inside my stomach, felt like. The anointing of God was bringing it out. No more through the nose, singing for me. Everyone is amazed! "even me". And I bowed my knees and cry ed and thanked him graciously. When you been through as much, as I have you learn who, to give the honor to. SO, SEE THERE IS HOPE FOR US THAT CAN'T SING. Why didn't he get in my voice and bring it out sooner? Was I really singing for him? NO WHEN HE BECOMES FIRST IN YOUR LIFE, THEN YOU, ARE SINGING FOR HIM and he will anoint you. You can't just say He's first, but you will have to prove it like Job In the ash box. Everyone wants to be like Moses, until they get in the fire. Then all you hear them do is complain. I'm really going through it, they will say. Why is God letting this happen to me? Be a man and be honored to suffer for Him.

I try ed to go to one church years, after that snake had bite me, and after this one, it would be the last time that, I would ever take part in church. I tried to go some, later to seek help, but I would never take part in nothing else, in the church world, for this one finished destroying me. I was out of it after this one, to never be able to function again, or so the devil though. I had been convinced by some one, that I had been in the wrong Church's, all my life, and this was really the one, that could put all the broken pieces of my life back together again. It was a Jesus Name Church. This was years after, that snake had bite me. I heard that they were on the solid rock, so I started attended the church trying to get my life back together. My nerves bothered me real bad, trying to go, but I wanted God back, like I use to have him. Little did I know that the preacher had lost all faith in God. His son drowned when he was thirteen years old, in a pond, and he blamed God for it, and he lost all faith. Which I felt sorry for him and began to love him and his family. I Played music in their church, and little by little I began to get weak in faith, not knowing why, but now I realize that his unbelief effected everyone around him. It is dangerous to go to some churches, they will sap all the life out of you, and you want even know what is wrong. You will be so dead all the spiritual life will drain from you. I was already half dead myself, cause I had been through so much myself, and was seeking help from God myself. I try ed not too get close to anyone, due to the fact that I had been through so much, already.

One Sunday I was playing the piano before church started..which I love to do, I would go early to make sure all the music was in tune. I had began to think that this was the church for me...I was doing pretty good the pastor and his wife seem to love me. Then people began to get jealous of me. Have you ever had this happen to you? Saul in the bible became jealous of David and try ed to kill him..you've read the story in the book of first Samuel. The spirit of jealous is cruel. It can do a lot of damage to a young christian. It use too, cause me to stop going to church. And it would cause me too stop praying, which will cause you to lose your relationship with God. I didn't realize that I was giving up the only one that could heal my broken heart. That is the time to run to his feet and start crying out to him isn't the first
human reaction, when something happens to you, is to with draw back from prayer. This is the time to run to your prayer closet. I use to be bad to do this. But I have made up my mind, that when this happens to me, I am going to tell it to my best friend, and the greatest thing about this is that, he takes the pain away. When we don't pray we have to carry our hurt and pain, and keep getting in worse shape. Why do we do this? Do you like being miserable, if you do just don't pray. If you want to be happy pray. It's took going through hell for me to learn this.

WELL BACK TO THE CHURCH I WAS ATTENDING. I had a nervous break down, after I came out of that snake, church I was already a mess. after what I'm fixing to tell you, I began to get hate in my heart. and the divorce on top of this. The preachers wife told me to come in her office, I was happy that morning, I had been playing music, she said I heard, that you said you were having an afair with my husband. Can you believe this after all I had been through? Now this! She talk to me like I was some kind of a dog. I left the church crying. She wouldn't believe nothing I said, my heart was taring out of me; her son bowed his head in shame, he knew I would never say such a thing. Who would be that stupid, anyway. She was jealous of everyone, and this was her way of getting rid of me I guess. This done me in. My heart and mind was, well There is no words to describe what I felt like. I had, had it with church this was it. See my reactions, I stopped loving the most important thing in my life, JESUS. He hadn't done anything to me, so what if the preachers wife was so full of the devil, that she torn me to pieces, this shouldn't have caused me to stop talking to my dearest friend (Jesus) he didn't do it to me. If I had of went to him he would have healed my broken heart. I have no hate in my heart for this lady. I pray she will get her heart right with God. God's love, (loves all), no bad feelings at all toward anyone only compassion. But before God set me free, I hated her. The point I'm trying to make is, DON'T LET PEOPLE CAUSE YOU TO LOSE OUT WITH GOD. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but HE is faithful, and will deliver us out of them all if we hold to Him. Why let people cause us to fall. We must be willing to suffer for our dear Saviour...look what all he had to suffer for us.

TAKE THIS WHOLE WORLD BUT GIVE ME JESUS. Put him first and oh just see what a relationship you will have with him. Its worth more than anything in this world. Oh yes, our hearts will be broken and we will feel like it is being torn out of us. But friends it want last long, if we take it to him. That keeps me going, cause, I know it want last long, just soon as I fall into his loving arms, he will take it all away.

I'VE LEARNED THE HARD WAY AND I WILL NOT LET PEOPLE THAT IS FULL OF THE DEVIL, CAUSE ME TO LOSE OUT WITH JESUS
(AGAIN) cause I've learned that anybody, that is moving out side of love is not of God. For (God) is love. I John 3:14, We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren, it will cause you too, not run each other down, but pray for our enemies, no matter what they do to us. Do you believe the Bible, if you do then try praying for your enemies. You say you can't love them, and forgive them. "That is the point" we can't, but if we pray. God will give us love and drive all the hate out, just keep praying till he does. We have to seek him like we would, If we lost a hundred dollar bill, in our house. You would tare the house down looking for it, wouldn't you? He is much more important than a hundred dollar bill. If He's, not then he may not hear you. He don't want your second best. Do you like to be second with your husband, everybody else before you? No If he's not worth no more than that, to us then we don't deserve him. He is worth more than a hundred dollar bill isn't he, well not to some people. All he wants is for us to love HIM. Think about it read the old bible and notice his personality, the way he feels, thinks, watch how he wants his people to love him, and obey him. Do you like it when your children don't obey you? He feels the same way and be thankful, if you're thankful for the beans you have, he just might give you some corn bread to go with them. Oh what
a beautiful SAVIOUR we have, and what he will do for you, if we let him be part of everything that we do. Instead of acting like he's not there and come to him when we just want something or the devil is driving us crazy. How do you feel when your kids or someone only comes around when they just need something. HE HAS FEELINGS TOO. He's not flying out in space somewhere. He wants us to love Him, after all he created us.

GET YOUR EYES OFF OF POOR MISERABLE PEOPLE. Stop comparing God to people. So what, if everyone fails you, what does this have to do with God. He didn't fail you did he?

WHAT IF EVERYONE YOU KNOW IS A HYPOCRITE. Make up your mind that you are going to be a real christian and if everyone else wants to go to hell, don't let them take you with them. I use to doubt, that even the bible existed. WHY? Because I could see no signs of him in people. I decided to try it for my self, and see if it works. Try loving your enemies, stop arguing and fighting. Try believing the bible for once, and see if it works. Why not put it to the test. Pray and get the hate out of you. Pray until God fills you with his love. When you look at someone that has done you wrong, and you begin to have a bad feeling, toward them, go and pray until you can look at them with love. See if God don't start turning things around for you. He will I know he will. If you are broke or don't have much money and can't make ends meet, try taking the bible and see what it says about the matter. Give and it shall be given unto you. Pray over your bills, stop worrying, trust, believe and, He will be faithful. He said seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these other things will be added unto you. .Well I try it, they say and it didn't work for me. Then you didn't put Him first first. My dear friends it will works. I am seeing it work. If your children turn against you, if your marriage is in a mess, stop worrying about it. Just start praying and put it out of your mind, put God first and he will work it out. Don't look at the storm, keep your eyes on Jesus. If things don't get no better, maybe you're better off with out them. Just put God first and he will be your dearest friend and your shelter from the storm. You can't just tell him you love him you have to prove it. You will go through the fire of afflictions but in the end he will, restore and give you more than you had before. We don't need riches, we need the the riches of Christ, which is peace and love and all the fruits of the spirit and be able to help people find God in their life's. There is nothing that can separate you from the love of god. You have to let it go your self, get your feeling dead and let Jesus come alive in you and start letting him use you for his kingdom, and stop letting frail people keep you from getting this in your life. Everyone is wanting the great POWER OF GOD. Love is where the power is, power to turn a person from darkness unto light.

WHEN YOU SET YOUR HEART AND MIND TO SEEK GOD, all
hell will break out the enemy will come at you on every side, you will stagger at your wits end. Don't give up, keep praying don't go by feeling, go by faith, you will think you are going no where, but be faithful it will work.It is like planting a garden, you put the seed in the ground and you don't see nothing for a while, but before to long you will begin to see a little plant spring up. Don't try to figure out how it will happen, just keep hoeing your garden. Keep all the crab grass out of it, by praying and killing out what the devil tries to plant beside your little tender plant. Before long it will grow tall and the crab grass can't choke the life out of it. Try it isn't it worth trying. I'm tired of letting people destroy my relationship with God. It is worth fighting for and I'm going to fight with everything in me. Life is but a dressing room for the next life to come. We're as a flower that fades away, here today and gone tomorrow. We have been through enough hell here, I sure don't want to go to one worse, than the one we're in right now. Look up and encourage yourself in the Lord as, David in the bible did. Look to the hills from which cometh your help. If no one else encourages you, encourage your self, quiet whining, be men. Time is getting late, work while it is day for night cometh when no man can work. We can do it, we can obtain that city, we can and no devil can stop us. How about it are you ready to start fighting. Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired. Let's get a hold of the horns of the alter, and start praying with all our hearts. You don't have to be a in a church house to pray. People usually just pray when, they are around others, just to make everybody think they really got something . Let god help you find a church, where they have the love of god. You say there isn't any no more, oh but there is. Jesus said he had 7000 men that had never bowed their, knee to the devil, in the old bible, when one man of God was feeling sorry for his self. God will direct your paths if you let him, don't let men lead you, let God lead you. Stop listening to every body and listen to God for a while. make sure it is God talking through them. Usually, if it is God he will be dealing with you about the same thing and it will confirm it in your heart. For some reason the last thing people wants to do is pray, that is what is wrong with everybody, they set around and watch dirty television and feel sorry for their self. It's time for us to wake up. What ever you need in your life God can give it to you, if you will pray, fast and read your bible, and don't let no one stop you no matter what. And please learn to listen, to the Spirit of God in you, instead of listening to man. remember the offel shape I got in, for listing to man. He will lead and guide us, just let him do it. You better make sure its God speaking to you. If they are speaking contrary to the bible you best not listen. For the spirit and the word agrees. If the spirit in you or someone else is speaking, and its not going alone with the word of God, it is a lie and of the devil, no matter how good or holy they seem to be, If an angel from heaven speaks contrary to the word of God, Jesus said, let them be accursed. And anything moving out side of love is of the devil, cause God is love remember that. The bible says let no MAN deceive you. And believe me there is plenty of deceivers out there, that looks like angels and are devils underneath that wool. The bible says, you shall know them by their fruit. And they are out for one thing to destroy you. If they came to you looking like the devil, you wouldn't have any trouble, but they come to you like
angels. Their purpose is for you to get confidence in them and then kill you. Don't be so, simple minded, Proverbs 7: 23, The simple believeth every word, but the prudent man looketh well to his going. (Wake up) and be real, put your feeling under the blood of Jesus, its time we wake up and read Gods word and get all this other stuff out of our minds, stop worrying and start praying. So what if the preacher runs off with another woman. Jesus didn't run off, did he? He's still with you, let the preacher leave, if he had rather have lust than God. You're better off with our him. Thank God he's gone and that he didn't seduce you. Just pray for him, He's not God. There is nothing that can compare to Jesus, nothing satisfies like Jesus. Take this whole world but give me Jesus. He can give you much better than the devil can if you need a wife, if you are lonely, pray that God will send you someone, that loves him and will love you and treat you right. HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH HE BLEED AND DIED FOR you. LET'S RETURN HIS LOVE, AND ADORE HIM FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR US
There was a time in my life I could not talk like this, cause I had let the devil, use people to cause me to become full of hate. No one wants to live that kind of a life, it is better to love and be hurt, than to live with hate in your heart. It is the most terrible life anyone could ever live. So why live that way. Why not humble yourself and let God take it out of your heart. A lot of Christians are miserable and is trying to live for God, with hate in them for their brothers. You can't over ride sin, but we have to fix these things, look at all the people that is hurting that is around you. Everyone that is connected to you is suffering. If your branch is infected with some kind of a disease, all the little branches on your limb is suffering, and will soon die if you don't get something done for it. The sap from the tree can't flow through our branches . We will be come dry and soon have to be cut off the vine.

WELL GOD KNOWS MY HEART SOME WILL SAY. Yes he does, and he knows it's full of sin, and disobedience. Remember he loves you very much, he died for you, but you have to let him get the sin out of you. We have to do our first works over, he can't draw nigh to you with sin. Their is no excuses for sin, we have a road map and we have to follow it. Notice how he loved and cared for the children of Israel, as long as they obeyed Him.
I can't get no where with God, if I don't obey his word. If he says, when you do people wrong, you have to fix it with them and then come to the alter and fix it with me. You can't go around that, if you take the wrong turn with the road map you will get lost, same way with the Bible.

SOME WILL SAY WELL I AM HURT AND DEPRESSED, BECAUSE MY CHILDREN, AND SO ON, WANT VISIT ME NO MORE. I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED, WHAT KIND OF A PERSON WOULD I BE, IF I DIDN'T CARE. God understands, why I'm depressed. Why I'm down, murmuring and complaining. No this is contrary to the word of God. He understands yes, but he said for us to bring our cares to him and he would carry them for us. All it does if we don't take it to him is pollute us. This is where we die daily, get all our human feeling dead, so Gods spirit can flow through us each day to help others. They don't need to see me, they need to see the fruits of the spirit working. They don't need to see me with all my head aces and murmurings. BUT GOD UNDERSTANDS THEY SAY. He understands that you are to lazy to pray and kill out your human feelings. There is no excuse for slowfulness. No excuse will hold up, Gods people perish for lack of knowledge. I have no excuse for being lazy. I have to pray if I have to crawl to my prayer closet.

GODS PREACHERS HAVE BECOME LAZY DOGS THAT CAN'T BARK. MY HUSBAND is a preacher if he lives right and is subject to God, I will be subject to him. If he don't doright, then I will not up hold him. I would be just as guilty as him, if I did that. I don't want peoples blood on my hands in the judgement. And if he is rebellous like Saul, it want make me stop serving God. I will go on with out him. I will continue to love him and be good to him, but I want support him. I ONLY SUPPORT THE RIGHT THING. Our excuses want hold up on the judgement day. The Lord usually blesses me more, when I am fighting every spirit in hell telling me I'm not able to pray. And I don't feel a thing from God, it seems he's a million miles away. I'm praying by faith not feelings of the flesh. If we went by our flesh and the way it felt, we would never pray. A five minute prayer from the heart is worth more, to God than praying for hours, timing yourself, and your heart not in it. Why are you timing yourself anyway to go boast about it. If we pray in secret he will reward us openly. People can tell if you pray. God rewards us by letting his precious spirit flow through us, you can't have that if you're to lazy to pray.

GOD HAS TOTALLY DELIVERED ME FROM ALL MY HURTS AND PAINS, the night the man of God prayed for me, the Lord took, from me all the hurt and I am left with a heart full of love and compassion for others. God has blessed me so much and has took the memory, of it all away. He only lets me remember, when he wants me to tell others about it.

ISN'T OUR SAVIOUR WONDERFUL, ISN'T HE DEVINE, OH HOW GREAT AND PRECIOUS HE IS. Just try him. ISN'T MY SAVIOUR WONDERFUL, HE HAS GIVEN ME A BRAND NEW LIFE, OF PEACE AND CONTENTMENT. He has taken all the nightmares away when I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming.

THANK YOU DEVINE MASTER MAY I EVER BE FAITHFUL