His will or my will

The spirit is willing but the flesh is
weak. As Brad our grandson, looks
under the tent, is not sure of his decision.

How wonderful the first part of my webpage was written, which would give one hope and faith to hold on to God and know that he would work everything out for the good to them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.
In the carnal mind things will be smooth sailing from here on out, but not so Jesus said, "whosoever taken not up his cross and follows me is not worthy of me!
What exactly is he saying? After he changes your life and sets you free or rather gets you out of the whore or harlot church, your work is just beginning for Him. Not the work that you did in the church world, working for the church and man. But your work for him will be totally different.
In the church world you had to forsake all for the preacher and church. You did what ever they told you to be able to be a part of the church and be in good favor with them, Yes. You had to wear your clothes, the way they wanted. Your hair had to be their way. Your prayers, your dedication, your singing, music, your offerings all had to be as they said. You didn't want to go again them, or you would be a out cast. See all the little branches of churches that are this way now. One little bunch over there and one little bunch over here. And their little bunch are forbid to fellowship, with the other little bunch. All pray, dress, testify, etc. different. So how on earth does anyone know what is right. If you don't look to please them, they look and treat you like trash.
BUT WHEN YOU REALLY COME ASIDE AS PAUL DID, AFTER HIS CONVERSION.
And God begins to open up the scriptures to you. You don't go up to this one or that one. But you totally for a while seprate your self and stay away from the churches, until God says go. You will begain to see things a whole lot different. You will begin to see through Gods eyes of the spirit instead of your carnal eyes.
So, now you are beginning to get to know him and his word. The word of God will begin to try you. You testified of how you would deny yourself and take up your cross and follow him, you said you would put him before your husband or wife, or your children etc. You were dancing for joy when he brought you out of bondage as he did the children of Isreal, when they took their tambrines and played and danced and sung of how great God was and that there wasn't nothing that he couldn't do. He had all power in heaven and in earth.
So now He says, I will show you what things you must suffer for my name. You must crusify your flesh, plain words lose your will and let God have his will in your life. Oh great! "now you are going to be moses and deliver God's people. All the shouting is over, you thought you were going under the big tent and be reconized for who and what God had made you at last. But are you in for a big supprise.
You are going to become as John, one crying in the wilderness.
The more God uses you the more the devil comes again you. The more doors are opened for you, the bigger the devils get. The harder the battle, your one hour prayer isn't going to work anymore, you will have to pray more, sometimes all through the night. We are not above our master remember, if he had to do it so are we. That is if you want to be chosen, remember. OK..... so the word is trying you, you have been tried by a lot of things, your husband, wife, family, churches, friends has started coming again you and you are still praying and you have overcome all these and are still faithful to God. You are beginning to feel and stand alone. You thought that your husband, wife etc. would be standing by your side and you were sincere and told others of their faithfulness toward you, but now they are all gone. Now what, what are you going to do. Do you still want to be like moses.
It was great to think about it and feel all that anointing, but you didn't realize what a price you would have to pay to get it. Are you willing to walk alone, follow him. Be different, hated, despised, rejected, mocked, by your family. Where did all the sparkle and glamour go, like they have on tv, the tv preachers. Man you are a total outcast.
Why are they not the same. Because they don't know him. If you know him you will follow his footsteps. Study Paul real close, let God open up the scriptures to you, walk with paul. Feel his pain, feel Jesus pain. Do you think that you are going to float in on a gold carpet, fancy suits, in the lime light. No, no, no,
Flesh must die, so Jesus can live in you.
Lets go back to being tried. I don't think people understand what it is really like to be tired and stand on the word.
Stand for the word of God that bro. so and so is preaching. No, no, no.
Stand for the BIBLE...... The bible says hold your peace and he would fight your battles. Are you trying to do this, praying in the Holy Ghost so the Lord can bridle your tongue. or is this you.. I'm standing for the gospel Bro. So and so is preaching and your tongue is lose at both ends, cutting down every body that gets in your way. But your are STANDING FOR THE TRUTH..so you say, no you are a liar. The truth is letting the spirit of God tame your tongue. Just one good example.. See if you don't pray and let God open these things up, you will be decieved and think from your heart, that you are doing right. Maybe the preacher you are listening to is keeping the word. But you have made a god out of him, not realilzing it. We must keep the scriptures for our selfs. If I preach against lust, I can't be lusting my self. So now you have been tried and are still faithful to God, you have suffered hell and you have been plucked like a chicken. Now what Lord, whats next you have learned to abide by the scriptures and now you are going to learn how to be obedient. That is better than sacrifice, but that don't mean you don't have to sacrifice. The children of Isreal was the most disobedient people ever, after all the miracles they saw. After all God did for them, it is so hard to understand why their faith was so weak. How could they not believe? Think about it, we've not seen half what they saw. My understanding of this is, back to the flesh will and the spirit will. Flesh is our enemy, it totally has to die.
It is not subject to God, neither indeed can be. Your flesh cannot serve God. Everybody wants to serve God in their flesh and they will never be able to. That is where all the confusion, different churches, different insights of the word, different meanings of the word being preached. The carnal mind is your enemy. It is against the ways of God and his word and it will argue with it. You must kill it, by the spirit or you will never work for God. Oh you may and can work for the church and people but not God. KEEP DIEING, KEEP WALKING, KEEP OBEYING, KEEP READING.... it's better to live a fasting life, instead of trying to fast for 40 days and think you are going to kill your flesh. It is a daily walk. Set aside so many days a week or maybe one meal a day every day. Or how ever. Say eat one meal a day and fast all day on sunday or maybe all week in. And keep that dedication every week. we have to learn to be dedicated every day not once in a while, go on a long fast. If God deals with you on a long fast fine. But de dedicated every day and you will find that you obtain more favor and anointing from God.
PRAY FOR ME THAT I WILL KEEP MY BODY UNDER SUBJECTION TO THE SPIRIT, FOR IF I DON'T I TOO AFTER PREACHING TO OTHERS, WILL BE A CAST AWAY.....in plain words, lose out with God). We are all flesh and blood, trying to fulfil our calling. We are all the same, no one above the other. We all need and can help each other.
May the peace of God keep you.